Collection of Irish Song Lyrics

Pickle Bill

Irish Song Lyrics - Pickle BillAuthor: Donal O'Shaughnessy
Copyright: 2000

One cold winter on the Grand River
On the south coast of Lake Erie
Came an Ice flo pushin', down the river it was rushin'
To get on out to sea
Well the waves were slashin' and the water it was crashin'
As rough as rough could be
Till the crest made a charge at the Pickle Bill's barge
Broke the lines and set it free
(yessir, the barge was at large)

Well the barge took a ride on the highest of tides
It passed the salt plant on the way
And it sure wasn't timid when it broke the speed limit
Of fifteen knots in the bay
There was no deterrent as it rode on the current
In the wind and in the snow
"Since I'm on the water, I'll go get an order
of wings in Buffalo!"
(it was the ultimate "takeout" restaurant)

Well it floated away past beaches and bays
Without a map and nary a chart
Until it strayed 100 miles away
To Erie not New York
But the Powells they found it and decided to round up
A vessel salvage crew
But when the crew they found it, they proceded to drowned it
And it sunk in the great big blue

Now the effort was rotten and as it sunk to the bottom
The barge had a revelation
It said, "Today is my lucky day!
This is a great retaurant location!
I've got a fresh supply of fresh walleye
Fresh lake trout and fresh perch.
With all these sea creatures and Jerry as my teacher
I can make this business work!"

"We'll need some extra hands." So he hired some clams
And a sponge to do the dishes
A large mouth bass would collect the cash
'Cause the food would be delicious
An electric eel made the fuse box reel
For lights and juice for the fryer
When the menu was set you could surely get
Any seafood you desire

Next it was reported some penguins were imported
They served the classiest dish of cod
A mermaid contingent for topless entertainment
If you just wanted to get scrod!
It was the ultimate wet bar, raw bar, sand bar
You'd ever seen in your day
Why the place was so cool, there were schools on stools
Eatin' buckets of bouillabaisse

All things ended when a diver decended
With a lifeline and a cable
While he waited for the tug to pull the line snug
He sat down at the table
Well, he had a fine feast with the deep sea beasts
When the waiter said, "I hope you don't mind.
There's nary a bigot on this deep sea frigate,
But I've never served the likes of your kind!"

Then without warnin' the very same mornin'
The cable began to quiver
The barge was raised back to the wind and the waves
And towed back to Grand River.
Marianne and Jerry watched while the ferry
Sailed on past Ohio's hills
Now the barge is parked and permanetly locked
And docked at Pickle Bill's

Now the moral of the story of this tale of glory
Whenever you go out to eat
No one knows more about the food on shore
Than the one who's visited the sea

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