Collection of Irish Song Lyrics
Mullingar Heifer (the)
In Dublin's fair city where fine people dwell
Their fortunes would take me too long for to tell
There's one millionaire in the city 'tis true
but he isn't Irish he's only a Jew
The people of Limerick they got a fine name
Their hams and their bacon are well known to fame
Their sausages too are the finest of meat
while the people of Dublin eat only pig's feet
Old McGuire of Clonmel was that fond of his bed
His poor wife he nearly drove off of her head
At last for the the villian she did prove a match
for she gave him twelve duck eggs and told him to hatch
The Kilkenny lads are fine rovin' blades
and make a good match for the Kilkenny maids
and when they get married they all wear silk hats
to rear up the kittens of the Kilkenny cats
A Belfast girl said a blond I'd like to be
so she bought a bottle at a swell pharmacy
something exploded her peroxide
she thought she was dead but she only was dyed
When a Galway girl got married in the days long dead
she got for her fortune a fine feather bed
when a girl now gets married they think it enough
to give her a lipstick and a fine powder puff
There was an elopement down in Mullingar
so sad to relate the pair didn't get far
"Oh Fly" said he, "darlin and see how it feels!"
but the Mulingar Heiffer was beef to the heels
A barber with trim would get gay with the girls
who came to his parlour to shingle their curls
his wife caught him giving a permanent wave
now the poor fellow lives in a permanent grave
a Cork man who stammered was once getting wed
and he practiced beforehand the words to be said
"will you take this woman?" the parson did press
and he had to say "no" for he couldn't say " y..y..yyy..yye..ssssss"
