Collection of Irish Song Lyrics
Limericks from the 2002 Ireland Trip
Copyright: of course
This year's trip yielded the creative genius of many a passenger.
Our 40 were divided into 4 "Clans" to assist in the attendence taking.
the O'Carnsies Clan
the O'Hurley Clan
the O'Kay Clan
the O'No Clan
All was proceeding smoothly until 6 people "defected" to form their own clan. When their spokesperson, Bruce Wilhelm made the declaration they were forming their own clan, he also offered a challenge to the remaining 4 that we come up with at least one Limerick. Here's the first.
Our Coach driver and tour guide George Flynn had a penchant for saying "Oh Jay sus!"
Our clan start is of great interest
it started over many pints of Guinness
In O'Garvey's began
off with it we ran
and now we are known as O'Jaysus!
the O'Kay response from Ben Demott:
There once were 6 traitors so bold
who left their own clans Oh so cold
on further reflection
we welcome defection
Of any so easily sold
So this is our feeling so true
with them we are totally through
they can have their new clan
and we don't give a damn
and nobody's saying "Boo Hoo!"
There was a great stir from the masses about the defection and the Limericks began pouring in...
The O'Jaysus clan tried an end run
they marched to the tune of a different bodhran
by the o'Kay's were booed
and will eventually be sued
Come Monday they will see "Jonny Cochran"
The grand Prix was in Killarney while we were in town with all those hot rods
A great guy named George drove our bus
He maneuvered the coach with no fuss
when a prix driver would pass
George would not stomp on the gas
he would simply sigh "Oh Jaysus!"
Fact: We visited Lisdoonvarna for a lunch stop. We had only a given amount of time until we would roll again. Some of us wound up with very slow service in the pubs.
As we toured Lisdoonvarna one day
Seeking food in a desperate way
At the ritz we sat down
For the "Best craic in town"
but the service was on time delay
For you see the poor barmaid was busy
Our orders galore made her dizzy
some folks just gave up
crossed the street for some sup
while the rest finally ate in a tizzy
Fact: We arrived at Shannon before our coach so we had some time for breakfast and a pub stop in the airport
Our flight from New York just landed
On the ground at the airport in Shannon
We were in too early
but instead of getting surly
we had a pint sooner than we'd been plannin'
The Hurley family was with us and inspite of their following Limerick, the children were great travelling companions. Their 3 children Michael 13, Erin 12 and Ryan 9 came up with this one.
There once was a lady named Julie
We kids at times were quite unruly
In Ireland we ran and we raced
We rushed her at such a great pace
That's why in the morning, her pillow is so droolie
There once was a beer named Guinness
Some people think it's for fitness
He thinks it tastes like crud
She thinks it tastes like mud
But you always want more when you're finished!
From Erin (Award Winner!!)
One day George was sick, sniffling and sneezing
His mom said he was outdoors when it was freezing
George sat blowing his nose
which turned red as a rose
I think it was punishment for all of his Jaysusing
Fact: Our medieval banquet was at Dunguaire Castle where we had the largest most boisterous group. Dan Flanagan used some poetic license here:
Our banquet was held at Bunratty
Where mead was poured not Paddy
After downing a few at the table
We knew we would soon be able
To drive the servers & Dinner Guests batty
George Flynn was the name of the driver we had
Touring around making cows Mad
To the mountainside we did go
The highland sheep were really a show
But what a surprise when they called George D-a-a-a-d
When we toured the "Ring of Kerry" we managed almost the entire trip without stopping in a pub. Finally a rest area was ahead and we anxiously waited to have a pint.
If you wonder why some guys are sad
And some even possibly mad
We came 'round the Ring
"There's Moll's Gap!" We did sing
But there wasn't a drop to be had!
Fact: The night I performed in the Joshua Tree in Cork City, some of the local gals took a fancy to John Gaffney. John lingered behind after we all left for the night to get back on the coach and they tried to have their "way with him!" John also temporarily lost a piece of luggage the next day.
There was an Irish lass named Mags
Who wore clothing to highlight her sags
After the anthem was sung
She slipped Gaffney the tongue
It's no wonder John can't find his bags.
Tony Trost wore a baseball cap with a propeller on the top. He also fell asleep in the Joshua Tree during the evening.
There once was a clan named O'No
Who tried to keep Tony in Tow
From wherever we sat
Could be seen that damned hat
So we voted to stow him below!
Here are some of my own observations:
Tony saw Ireland and shopped her
Ever bottle cap, cork and a stopper
in the pub he reclined
After he drank and dined
But never once lost his hat helicopter
Fact: One night Mindy Brady and Sara DeFrancisco met up with a group of rugby players. As the evening progressed, the team all wound up naked playing cards in their hostel for all to see.
Rugby men can be rough
when playing and drinking and stuff
for Sara and Mindy
the night grew quite windy
when the lads all wound up in the buff
George remarked that Stacey Wadsworth's suitcase was so heavy that she must have rocks in it
A rock totin' tourist named Stacey
had boulders in her black suitcasey
when George had to load 'em
Down dropped his scrot...
if it lands on the floor could be pricey!
Jim Tuskes stepped out of the shower and couldn't believe the floor was heated. While standing there fresh out of the shower in his altogether he called his wife Wendy exclaiming,"Honey, you've got to come in and feel this!"
Jim from the shower had to roar
to feel heat from the tiles in great score
Then Wendy he beckoned
to include her he reckoned
to feel how it raised from the floor!
Lisa Wasyln decided to cuddle a one week old lamb at one of the scenic stops on the "Ring". When she put the animal down, he had left a present on her shirt.
Little lambs were Lisa's delight
she scooped one and held it so tight
she must have spooked him
for when he did poop then
her chest was all covered in shite!
Each Night John Gaffney would go out to the afterhours clubs and always manage to find an all night fast food place Supermacs or Hillbillies.
A hamburger guzzler named John
In the clubs would go out with the throngs
but then every night
with a keen appetite
have a burger and fries and ding dongs
Ed Dailey tracked down a friend from college, Jim Hagen he hadn't seen in 25 years while we were in Kerry. Jim went to Ireland to play music and entertain. We met them for lunch one day.
For 25 years Ed missed his man
Entertainer and schoolmate and ham
Ed never lost sleep
o're the hills counting sheep
to locate his friend on the lam
A generic observation after so many people shopped Ireland:
For Ireland's a place with no topping
You can go place to place without dropping
There are women with cash
who make quite a dash
for an Olympic sport they all call SHOPPING!
Amy Laid on the Blarney Floor Slab
To Acquire a wee gift of gab
But the stone wouldn't give it
And Amy was Livid
Because she has Blarney more than it had
A Former Clan member named Lorna
Stayed up well past four in the morna
From Bed Wouldn't rise
Couldn't open her eyes
From the drinks of last nite they were pourin' her
There once was a family named Hurley
With 2 parents, 2 boys and a girly
There was never a gripe
Morning, noon, even night
until the morning we got up so early
"Irish Travelling Kay" on a tour bus was rollin'
Throughout Ireland with Ben she was strollin'
When George shifted gears
Music fell on his ears
When Kay said you're better'n Mick Nolan
Two Trip Members here Dan & Steve
A Martini web each of them weaved
In the mornin' tried eatin'
But a path started beatin'
To the loo for a gin flavored heave!
A Limerickian Sonnet ( From the O'No Clan)
To Ireland we came
Sweet Wendy was lame
Kathy our leader
a great little greeter
has Tony and Jan to explain
At "Dun-Something" Castle
right by the bay
Jerry's hat went flying
and John saved the day
And then there is Jimmy
always so droll
but unfortunately he's
never under control
Leonora and Carmela the sisters Panone
and Italians true blue
are happy to announce that
Tony's not one too
And that explains the eight of us
I have to say.
It was a great trip. I hope you enjoy the momentos